the real gain and all for his purpose

One thing I don’t want this blog to be is just a site to come to and read. I want people to come to this page and, yes read, but also find different sources, reading martial, and really just different ways to grow in their walk with God. So I don’t want it to just be my words, I want to share what I have learned and read recently that I have seen truths that apply to me right now and hopefully can be applied to others lives. I love doing my own quiet time and wanting to write all that I have learned and seen in The Word that morning. I want to share the little bits of power and grace I have seen in the day. But I want who ever reads this to grow in their faith and walk daily with God in their own way, their own steps, and by using His light.

I use the Bible app on my phone sometimes. A lot when I don’t have much to do I try my hardest to go towards a devotional instead of scrolling through Instagram and Facebook. It is much easier said then done. But I still try. One of the studies I have been doing on this app Is called ” Streams in the desert”. Oh goodness, it is SO good! It speaks so much truth into a time of a dry season in life. Which is just what you need no matter what season you are in — truth. Speaking truth is also speaking life. I wanted to share one of the devotionals from that study, that way I can also go back to it myself.

It Is For Him.

“God will make our obstacles serve His purposes. We all have mountains in our lives, and often they are people and things that threaten to block the progress of our spiritual life. The obstacles may be untruths told about us; a difficult occupation; “a thorn in [the] flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7); or our daily cross. And often we pray for their removal, for we tend to think that if only these were removed, we would live a more tender, pure and holy life.

“How foolish you are, and how slow to believe … !” (Luke 24:25). These are the very conditions we need for achievement, and they have been put in our lives as the means of producing the gifts and qualities for which we have been praying so long. We pray for patience for many years, and when something begins to test us beyond our endurance, we run from it. We try to avoid it, we see it as some insurmountable obstacle to our desired goal, and we believe that if it was removed, we would experience immediate deliverance and victory.

This is not true! … The only way genuine patience can be acquired is by enduring the very trials that seem so unbearable today.

Turn from your running and submit. Claim by faith to be a partaker in the patience of Jesus and face your trials in him. There is nothing in your life that distresses or concerns you that cannot become submissive to the highest purpose. Remember, they are God’s mountains. He puts them there for a reason, and we know he will never fail to keep his promise.”

– Streams In the Desert


We aren’t just submitting to God out of reverence and knowing His power as our God and savior. We are to submit our lives, wishes, desires, trials, and everything else. Good or bad. We ask for so many things, but when we are going through something we don’t realize we are actually getting what we asked for.

We ask for joy in the hurt, but we don’t realize to know true joy you have to see real hurt. We ask for patience in the circumstance, but we don’t realize to get patience we have to have patience and grow it in the circumstance. Slow down and see the thing you want to achieve is coming out of what you are doing right now. You want to be more loving even in the hard situations? You’ll learn how to be more loving because of that situation. The relationship we have with God isn’t a genie bottle. We can’t use one of our three wishes and wish for more wishes. This isn’t how the walk with our creator is. This walk is a learning an growing curve that is molding us to be His children and His people. This is the walk we have and the path we are taking to be more like Him and bring Him glory. The suffering, waiting, blessings, and trials aren’t for nothing. In all of those we are being taught by our Father how to endure and persevere in His name.

In all of it, what we really gain is a deeper understanding of who our King is and who He calls us to be.

God isn’t giving us a clear shot into a perfect life. As much as we wish God would straight up text us and say “This will be over in so and so time, don’t worry you got some good stuff coming to you”. That makes our path to seen for us and doesn’t give us a chance to reach out for God and let Him lead and be our Father. He wouldn’t be much of our powerful God if there were things we didn’t know and things were seen. There is no power in Him if we knew it all.

The purpose for anything we go through isn’t for nothing, it is a simple but hard way that He shows us He loves us enough to let us grow, help us grow, and teach us to grow. Why are we trying to run from it and trying to avoid it? The hurt is inevitable, but if we see that there can be more of God in it then we should be willing to rest and see Him work in it. This isn’t a give and take relationship, this is a give and Father us me.

If we had a perfect life how would we look forward to eternity? If we had everything we wanted and asked God for then there wouldn’t be anything else to run to Him with and submit to Him for. I am not saying we are going to God only for things. I am saying we should be running and submitting to a character that is like His and that is being grown into the patience, love, kindness, and gentleness that is our God. The promises He gives us is to teach us to be like Him and grow us into the saints He desires us to be. We aren’t chosen people to be mundane. We aren’t mundane, we are a promised nation rooted in the faith of a saving grace to which there is no end!

We are chosen people for His purpose, our growth, relationship, and also to be made like Him through every single thing that happens in our lives. We are a chosen people for Him.


the wild and free life

I am reading a book right now called “Wild and Free” by Jess Connolly & Hayley Morgan. This book isn’t one of those books about your true identity and finding yourself and blah blah blah, even though some of those books are good. But this book is AMAZING! It is about who God created you to be and being exactly who He created you to be. But it takes a different route, I feel like, then other books. This book seems to look at the image of God in a mirror and in that mirror you see yourself. This book points out the wild and free God and in turn shows us we are wild and free, because we are His children. we aren’t to be “ourselves” we are to be like Him because we are His and made to be just like Him.

We are His very image, we are being molded to be like Him, and we are to live like Him. A hard and wild task, but also freedom is found in it. Through His grace and mercy we can lean into the image He created us to be and not worry about being ourselves, because if we are growing and doing just as the Word tells us and the way we see God in it then we are being fully and completely ourselves.

I wish I could give you a copy of this book right now and hand you a pen and notebook that way you could read what I am reading about right now. So good! But one section was the biggest impact on me. A few post back I wrote about how wild our God is (a little bit of the wild ). Now we can talk about how wild and free we are, just like Him.

Just the other day I was talking to someone about how right now I am just trying my best to grow into the women God wants me to be, walk with God in obedience, and learn to be a Godly women and one day wife that His Word calls us believers to be. It has been heavy on my heart for a while now to grow in my season now and prepare for the seasons ahead. That is my mindset as of right now. Prepare for whatever is ahead in life with what God has for me now. I want to be prepared when the next step in life comes. I want to learn how to love like Christ, to be kind like Christ, to teach like Christ, and to be the Godly women He wants me to be. I want to be ready for what He has for me. Good or bad I want to be rooted and established in the Women He has made me.

I am a list maker so I made a list out of one of my favorite sections so far in the book “Wild and Free”. It is characteristics that are in a wild women of God, and that is what I want to prepare myself with. The wild love, kindness, mercy, and truth that is our wild God. I want that to also be me, but for Him.

-Wild Woman Of God-

A wild woman of God is secure in her identity because her eyes are fixed on the Lord.

A wild women lives at ease with their weaknesses and strengths, sins and spiritual gifts, because they are inextricably rooted in God who covers and uses it all. They know that the less they think about themselves, the more they are thinking about Him, and that’s a good thing! A women of God sees her Father as the leader of her soul, so she doesn’t have to be afraid of her weakness because she knows He will use them. She seeks to fix her eyes on her Father because again, He leads her in all she does. Her Father is a caring King who seeks others out before themselves and that is also what she seeks to do.

A wild women doesn’t have time or space to feel insecure, because her thoughts and affections are for Him and for His immeasurable greatness. She sees His greatness because she has felt His grace and mercy wash over her, so she sees His thoughts instead of her own, she feels His love instead of the fleeting worlds affections. She sees His lasting grace above anything else so she fixes her thoughts on that instead of her insecurities.

A woman of God is soft to her need for the gospel and open to correction from God and others.

Know you are still a sinner saved by grace, being transformed daily by the power of the Holy Spirit. We can remember such saving grace everyday as we ask the Spirit of God to lead us in the power He has given us. Wild women don’t hide from God or humans when they mess up, they remember the saving grace; they hold their hands open and walk in humility.

Live in the truth of 2 Corinthians 12:9 — knowing His power is made perfect in our weakness.

A wild woman doesn’t toil; she works from approval, nor for approval.

You won’t hear a woman who walks wild with the Lord bemoaning that she doesn’t know how God will use her particular gifts or callings in His kingdom. She believes Psalm 16:6 and recognizes that her place is found right where God has put her.

It is so easy for me to forget that He wants me right where HE has me. Often I keep looking ahead and forgetting that He is working right where I am to grow His kingdom and grow me closer to Him. There is power in the Holy Spirit that lives in your life right now, not just in the future calling He has placed in your heart. If we don’t focus on what God is doing in our lives right now we will miss fruit that is a blessing both now and for the later callings and seasons in our lives.

Her calling? to live as part of the royal nation and holy priesthood that is meant to declare Gods praises to those who’ve not yet seen the marvelous light that is Christ Jesus.

Now look to see where you are now. That is where His light is shining. That is where you are meant to live your life as a holy and wild child of the King that is working through you right now. We are to declare His marvelous light where ever we are and no matter what we are doing. Even in the hard and difficult and the “I don’t want to be here”. Because we all either are there, will be there, or have been there. a godly women seeks His light above all else and declares that light as a guiding source of life.

A wild woman is able to hear the cry of a hurting world.

The Holy Spirit is living and active in her, He has tuned her heart to see injustice and hear lamentation and DO something about it. Her heart is full of grace and mercy so when she sees the hurting it over flows to the ones who need the healing.

A wild woman speaks the native language of her Father — life.

Because her Father used phrases during creation like “let there be light” and “this is good,” she knows her tongue and mind is always at home speaking life. That is where her soul is at rest when she knows her words are giving life just as her Fathers words give life. She speaks truth and life over herself and others, not bashing who He’s made her and others to be.

A woman who is wild for God knows the eternal power of her words and uses them carefully and passionately with those around her. She notices the words she says and other say. She seeks to speak life instead of death because that is what she was created to do. She greets others with excitement, and she is much more of a “there you are!” person than a “here I am!” kind of girl. She is encouraging, admonishing, and truthful, and she isn’t scared of using her words to speak correction because she knows that doing so brings life. She wants wild and free for everyone else, because she seeks the needs of others before herself.

A wild woman doesn’t see life as a place of lack.

You can call her optimistic or talk about how she always sees the glass half full, but she knows the alternative is not giving God room to move. She wants to always leave room in her life and heart for her Father to move in the mighty ways she knows He is capable of. She has seen Him work and she lives a life in full expectancy for Him to work in her life and in others.

A wild woman runs hard and fast, without baggage.

She knows this life isn’t a sprint or a short race but a long and grace-filled marathon. She sees her life as long but her days are numbered, and she just wants to go as far as He’ll go with her, as far as He’ll carry her. She sees greatness in this life, she sees her Fathers hand in her life, and she lives life to the fullest and most wild freedom she has learned from the Word. She doesn’t run slow, but she runs fast and steady in hand with her leader and sustainer asking Him to guide her in the steps of His will.

We all have these capabilities in our lives. If the Holy Spirit called your heart home then we are created to be like this. This is us. this is the power of God in us. This is ourselves. Wild women created for the glory of God. Chosen people made and molded to be like Him. If the Spirit of God is in your life we are already wild and chosen people.

if you could see

Could you imagine what it would be like to see what God sees? The pure beauty in the mountains. The stunning oceans meeting together. The wonderful sky going light to dark. I can’t imagine such a powerful and loving God just getting to watch His creation. It is like when you cook a good meal and you get the first bite. Or when you see a friend do something you know they’ve been wanting to do. Or you read an amazing book and read the last word. It is fulfilling to do. I mean if you created the whole universe and every little thing down to its molecules I feel like you’d be a good bit fulfilled.

What would it be like if we could see what God sees?

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8

Jesus is literally preaching to His people in Matthew 5:3-11. A chosen group. Just like you and I. He is telling them the blessings from a righteous heart, from being merciful, from being persecuted, from being a peacemaker, from mourning, from being hungry and thirsty for righteousness, and from having a pure heart. He is listing the blessings you will see through all of these things. The 6th beatitude is a pure heart, and the blessing is seeing God. Because of a pure heart we are able to see God. See Him work, fulfill, call, lead, transform, and also be with Him. By seeing God we are led to so many blessings that are far beyond our human minds and what they can understand. But a pure heart isn’t on our own. All of the blessings come from God. especially the pure heart.

Jesus says in, Matthew 5:8, I you want to see me. If you want to see God. You have to have a purity in your heart. You have to actually deal with the stuff that you feel like is causing some of the problems. We are sometimes masking those problems, which in turn mask our hearts and the ability to SEE God. We are called, as His children, to be in His presence and to be fully aware and surrounded by His loving kindness, but by masking our hearts and causing the ability to see God to be pushed away we aren’t being fully in His presence. That masks our hearts and hurts our relationship with God.

To the degree we mask our emotions we remain unable to see God. If we continue to mask our emotions, and in turn our hearts, we remain unable to see God. You remain as if you have no vision or clarity to what He is actually trying to do.

I see no humility and no glory to God by masking what is on our hearts from the God that created our hearts. The emotions and our mindset cloud us and take away our clarity on His guiding voice and our eyes that could see Him if we set our emotions to where He can see and lead. Our emotions are trying to tell us something. How would God want us to deal with our emotions? How would He see them. If we so badly want to see what God sees we would be looking through the lens of His Word, which would gives us the way He sees the very emotion that is clouding out minds and hearts from purity.

His Word leads to clarity from our minds and hearts, a clear mind and heart leads us to seeing God at full capacity. Purity of the heart leads to seeing God. God leads in many ways, but in everything it always leads to more of Him.

“…but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b 

He looks at our hearts because everything we do flows from it.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

We, as Christians, try our best to look at life and the world through the lens of His Word, but God looks through our hearts as a lens into our lives and souls.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

We can’t get a pure heart on our own, that is what His blood was shed for. We couldn’t do it on our own, so He made a way. But we can ask for a pure heart. Which leads us to seeing God. Seeing God isn’t the ultimate goal of all od this, but it is the blessing of knowing God. I am not talking about sitting face to face with God right now. I am seeing God in the kindness of a believers heart. I am seeing God in the mercy of a believers heart. I am seeing God in the joy of a believers heart. And I am seeing a deeper walk with God in a believers heart. I am seeing the army of God standing with pure hearts because of Jesus and strong faith because of the Truth we stand on. I am seeing intimate relationships with our creator based on the pure and new hearts God has given us through Jesus Christ

In every blessing there is fruit and understanding of WHO God is. But in every blessing He leads us deeper and stronger into who this Savior and King really is and the people He has called to see Him.

under pressure

If you happen to meet me between the hours of 9am and 8pm, you’ll find a semi-agreeable and normal ish human. I am sometimes overly peppy, but not to much. Other days I have more energy then others, and when I have that energy it is hard for me not to be dancing around the house. However, between the hours of 6am and 9pm ish, you might find my optimism and, again, mostly hyperness down right annoying. I want to talk, I want a hug, and I might just bust some of my best high-pitched noises to communicate, because I love morning. I really love the mornings where I don’t have to get up really early and get out of bed quickly. I love the mornings where I can lay in bed for a good solid half hour (maybe more) and just lay there. I do like getting up and getting ready for the day, but I love my time laying in bed. and I really just enjoy the morning time. Most of the time my mornings don’t look like that. It looks more like snooze a bunch of times and laying there trying to figure out what I can skip. Okay, if I don’t do eye makeup I can sleep for 10 more minutes. If I just pull my hair into a ponytail there is another 15 minutes. And if I grab an apple for breakfast then there is another 10-15 minutes, so I can lay here for another half hour. cue the eyes closed and wishing it was already 5 pm.

But, here is what some people don’t know: I become shell of a person after about 8pm. Sometimes I do get random bursts of energy, most of the time though that clock hits between 8:30 and 9:00 and this girl is taking a nap on the couch. But in general my hopeful disposition is gone by 8ish. And its not just because I get up early — I think I really struggle with what goes on in my heart throughout the day. I struggle with the back and forth of hope, joy, happiness, overthinking, worry, and fear. The struggle is in my heart trying to figure out this life He has given me. By the end of the day I am not as hopeful of a person as I was when I was laying in bed just a few hours earlier thinking about what the day holds. I wake up hopeful and abounding in faith of what God might do that day. Something really stirring in my heart in the mornings really believes Ephesians 3:20 — that He is going to do immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine. And He does! He always does. Every day. He never fails to show Himself. He never fails to move and shift things in the kingdom of God as my human day goes on.

But you know what doesn’t go as well as I hoped, ever? Me. it isn’t like I wake up thinking I won’t sin, but just as I hope in the Lord, I find myself putting hope in my own self and being let down every. single. time.

This weird thing happens — I just keep sinning. It is like I live in a fallen world or something, I know that, yet I still put so much pressure into thinking that my day should be totally perfect. Frustration, pride, and sadness — they shift. They shift into me thinking that I have failed God somehow. But I haven’t, I just put to much pressure on myself and not the grace that washes me clean. I have learned to grow from that shift and set those as broken pieces at His feet and have them put back together as He wants them to be. At the end of the day I am laying in bed thinking of the day I just had and I either am still frustrated or annoyed or disheartened. But sometimes I have to really look into the day and find God, let myself see the fruit from the day, and see where I am supposed to be growing in my life.

The day doesn’t end in what I thought. I mess up. Not mess up in this world kind of things, like putting the piece of mail in the wrong mail box, made the coffee a bit to strong, send someone to the wrong extension number, or something so silly and like that. But I find myself overthinking, worrying about the future, wondering about the what if, and all of them I take as a mess up. But sometimes the issues dissipate, but they’re all still there.


The pressure you put on yourself won’t go away completely, but it can dissipate, and you can let it show you where to set your hope and brokenness on.



Even when I have a perfect plan and have His holy help, it just doesn’t happen the way we think it will. Then you add in other people and the little hurts and cuts and bruises that come from living with other broken humans day in and day out. Then when it is all said and done, I am toast. The shiny blank slate of my day that held my hopes on is swiped away because I have, once again, hoped for the perfectness that isn’t in this world. To much pressure on ourselves and not leaning on Christ alone can leave us feeling broken and wondering.

We measure ourselves against our own perspectives of what we think we should be. we think we should have it all together. We think our days will go perfect, according to our plans and desires. We think that we have a big say in the way our lives will go. But, if we think all of those things we end up becoming defeated by the world to which we set to much hope in. And in defeat we just hand it all back to Jesus. Ask Him to cover us with grace and mercy, and just help us again the next day. Rarely are we comforted by our flesh, our Father comforts us in the times we finally see Him as our sustainer. Why is there so much pressure we put on ourselves when we were created good, but then we broke? Then pressure isn’t helping, it is hurting and can become broken.

Our broken selves need to settle our minds in His Truth, pick up the pieces that have fallen apart and set them in front of our Father so that there is grace and mercy to help us in our brokenness.

We put so much pressure on ourselves when we should be standing by our Father just asking Him to lead our everything for His glory. In our brokenness and the pressure we put on ourselves there is the helping hand of the God that created us.

I wake up so often putting that unwanted pressure on myself when I know I cant do it, it is to much, I am sinful, but I am cover by the blood. Instead I need to wake up falling on my knees in humility to the God that sustains and holds when the pressure is to much to bear.

Holy Spirit You Are Welcome Here

I am sure you’ve thought about what it’ll be like in heaven. Just walking down those streets of gold. Singing praises to God. Being in His eternal presence. No more hurt, only peace. No more sadness, only joy. Walking with fellow believers.


I wonder what it was like for people in Bible times. They walked with God in the man of Jesus. They ate with Him and had everyday conversations. They probably talked about how good the bread was, how hot it was, laughed when one of them dropped fish on their clothes. They could’ve asked Him anything like “Why do some camels have two humps?” and ” How is bread so good?” even “This water you turned into wine is bomb”. They could even ask the tough questions…. “Why was this so hard?” and “Why, Jesus, did this happen?”.

They walked with God on such a different level; than we know right now. God was fully man and fully God to them. They saw Him when His feet where dirty from walking town to town to tell others of His saving grace. They saw Him washing their feet. They watched Him as He fed 5,000 plus with five loaves of bread and two fish. They saw Him tired from a day of preaching truth. They saw Him in His true form — holy, pure, kind, compassionate, and forgiving. They also saw Him praying to His father, getting arrested, and being crucified, knowing He didn’t deserve it. They saw Jesus in the flesh, but they also saw Gods heart, personality, quirks, smile, and heard His laugh. They saw their Father and their friend. They saw the promised one they had always known was going to come, but they saw Him in a different way than they thought they would.


One day, we will walk with God like that. We will sit at His feet and hear stories, sing His glorious name, laugh with Him, talk with Him, and be with Him on those golden streets. But, we won’t have those questions. We won’t wonder about this world, we will be in the eternal presence of God. We won’t have to wonder or ask why camels have two humps, why the sky is blue, or why this or that happened. We will be in the place we were ultimately created for — Him.


When we are there, in heaven, we can ask the women at the well what it was like to talk to Jesus that day at the well. She will be able to tell us how fully known and deeply loved she is by the Savior. We can ask Lazarus what it was like being raised from the dead. We can ask James what it was like growing up with Jesus Christ as his brother. We can ask these people what it was like to WALK with Jesus!


And they are going to go into this whole melody that is praising God for His sovereignty, love, power, and protection. Then after we get done asking them what it was like to walk with a full man and full God, they’ll ask what it was like to live everyday knowing the Spirit of God was living inside of you.


“where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” Psalm 139:7-10


They’ll ask what it was like to be able to talk to him whenever and wherever we wanted. They’ll wonder what it was like to read the words in the Bible that the very Spirit that lives in us also inspired the words. They’ll wonder what it was like to sing praises while His Spirit is in us. They’ll ask if it was different walking around knowing Jesus left us with such an amazing gift. They’ll ask for times we heard the Holy Spirit speak and lead. And we will be able to tell them when we heard our Father whisper in our souls “I am here”. They’ll ask us what it was like to live life with the very Spirit of our Lord and Savior in us.

Maybe we take such a gift for granted. maybe when we are in a time of prayer we forget the Holy Spirit is right there, beside us, speaking to us, and taking it before God. Maybe when we are reading Gods Word we forget to ask the spirit to enlighten us with the knowledge and understanding of God. Maybe… nope, I know, we take for granted His Spirit in us. We can ask for enlightenment. We can rest in knowing the Spirit hears our hearts. We can read His Word as if the Lord Himself is sitting right next to us.


“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people. ” Ephesians 1:17-18


We need to start saying “Holy Spirit you are welcome here” everywhere we go, in everything we do, and in everything in my life.


Holy Spirit you are welcome here.


“But the advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all the things and will remind you f everything I have said to you.” John 14:26

a little bit of the wild.

It has been over a month since I have even posted anything on here! I wish I could make some sort of schedule of when to post, but honestly I don’t like doing that. I just want to write on here when I feel like it and when I feel like I have something to talk about or share. It isn’t like I haven’t had stuff I want to share and write about on here, but sometimes I have so much I want to share that is all jumble together and I have no clue what to even talk about. I get overwhelmed with how much I want to talk about so I end up not posting anything, I gotta get that under control. I have had many topics or ideas on what to write about, but I felt like none of the made sense or fit together. Honestly, they were all kind of all over the place.

I have had so much stuff I have learned and wanted to share on here, but couldn’t figure out the words to say. I wanted to post about service and really just what that is and what it means for us as children of a risen King. I wanted to post about faith and doubt, about reality of emotions, and about our timid communication we sometimes have with God. I wanted to talk about something I read on joy and guilt, because it was SO good! I am also reading a book right now about how we are wild and free children of a wild God that is beyond our understanding, yet we get to be just as free because of His grace. And before I realized it I had all of these things I wanted to share and none of them really, maybe, didn’t make sense or weren’t a lot to share. But, I want to start sharing the short, sweet, and to the point on here as well as the lengthy, full, and real things on here too. Sometimes I have a lot to say and sometimes I have little bits to share about this walk we are walking with Christ.

So with all of those topics I had that I wanted to post about, you know, the communication, joy, guilt, reality, our faith, and sometimes doubt. It all had to be put on the back burner when I read just how wild He is and how freely He gives. It fired me up for who God is as our God. Instead of trying to make is complicated and mixing lots of words together, I simple sat on the thought of God being… God. It was a way of seeing Him as yes, our Father, but also such a powerful King that His grace and mercy is so far beyond our understanding. Seeing God as He really is puts you in awe of WHO He is!

We have to let God be God. In the faith, in service, in communication, in our emotions, in our reality that sometimes we don’t like, and even in our doubt. We have to let Him work in the mighty ways He works. Our mind can’t comprehend the unfathomable God we serve. Why should we let all of those things stand still when they should be wild and free and set at His feet with the faith that He will move all of them into a greater path than we can realize. I want to step back and see the wild God I GET to serve, I GET to have faith in, I GET my joy from, an I GET to have open communication with. I want you to see the wild grace in the reality of our emotions. I want you to see His wild faithfulness when our faith is lacking. I want you to see His wild and abundant giving in our times of joy. I want you to see just how wild He is and the freedom He gives us. I want to see all of these things too. I want to see God in everything, no matter my emotions and no matter the circumstance.

I am going to be short and sweet and to the point with these little things I see our wild God in. I may just type out what I have written in my notebook (well not all of it, not everyone needs to know what is up in my life). But some of what I have written down, heard, read, or seen with these things I will share. And maybe sometime down the line I will write even more on these very topics and plant myself in the reality or timid communication with God. But, right now I just want to talk about little nuggets of the wild God I have seen recently and learned about.

I saw how much of a God He is in our reality and also our communication and this is what I’ve got to share.


“The enemy wants us to believe that if we feel unloved, we are unloved. If we feel we can’t cope with the pressure, it must be true that we cant make it. If we feel God has deserted us or that He has acted unjustly in a matter that concerns us, than perhaps He has indeed let us down. If we feel our situation is hopeless, then there must be no hope. If we don’t feel saved, then maybe we aren’t. The Truth is that, due to our fallen condition, our feelings often have very little to do with reality. In many instances, feelings are simply not a reliable gauge of what is actually true. When we allow them to be tied to our circumstances — which are constantly changing — rather than the unchangeable realties of God and His Truth, our emotions are prone to fluctuate wildly.”

-“Lies Women Believe” by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

Emotions are given by God, He shows emotions in His Word. But, it is what we do with and trust IN those emotions. The reality of our emotions is that they can take hold of us, but if we let the God-centered emotion hold us then we will feel abundant joy and so much more. That is what emotions are for.

Emotions aren’t for us to feel trapped, lost, wondering, forgotten, or unloved in. Emotions are to tell us and let us know how deeply loved, and fought for we are, plus so much more. Emotions let us dive deep into WHO God is as our Father and it gives us a piece of who He is. When you are feeling sad about loosing a friend, that is how God feels about the lost people. When you get that hug from a parent that you just needed in that moment, that is the feeling God has when a lost sheep is found. When you are angry about the situation you are in, that is how God feels when sin is trying to take over His people. You feel the same emotions that God experience’s. He is a wild God that we were made in the image of. He is wild and free and so faithful to His people that we also get to walk in freedom full of grace without a fear that those lies the enemy is telling us are true. God gives us freedom in His name, He gave us emotions to feel, and He gives us grace to live out in His name for His glory.


Why is communication so hard for us? Not just as Christians, but also just as humans, even for non-believers communication is hard stuff.  But, communication is a key point in the life of a Christian. We get talk to our heavenly Father. Sometimes we do it so timidly, when really, knowing how wild He is, we can run to Him, we can seek Him, and we can run into that full line of communication. But we don’t. We are timid. We sometimes go up to God tip toeing around the honest truth that is in our hearts and minds. That isn’t how we approach our Father, that isn’t the glory He deserves, but really that just isn’t what He is longing for. He is longing for a honest, real, truthful, and loving run towards each other based on grace through faith.

Grace through faith saves, but it also sustains.

Why do we forget that Jesus is our high priest? He is interceding on our behalf before God.

Being born again changes everything — including how we talk to God. The line of communication is now always open, because of what Jesus did on the cross for us. There is no longer anything keeping us from talking to Him. Yet, sometimes we forget that He is our high priest and goes to God with our all. Do we remember that the line to God is open? Do we remember that in those moments of pain and hurt we can seek His face in it and give it over to His wild heart? Do we remember that in those times of joy we can give thanks right there for the moment He has blessed us with? Do we remember the wild God we serve is also wanting us to freely come to Him and set everything right at His feet? Or do we timidly walk up to Him forgetting, yes He is our savior, but He is also our Father.

We beg our friends to pray for us before we think to pray for ourselves. We first tell someone we need prayer, but we should be talking to God first about it. Bringing the confusion, pain, frustration, and blessings to Him in a surrender that is wild and free. That is the communication we have with God. It isn’t a think about it and process it ourselves kind of life. When we have surrender to God with our life and live by faith in Him we get to bring everything to Him. We no longer have to have the questioning and wondering in our hearts, we now have an open line of communication and a life that is set at His feet. It is holy, forgiven, and a promised relationship where we get live a life in a full and wild communication with God. Most of us talk and process and digest with others far more than we will turn our face to our Father and tell Him we are hurting, we can’t figure this out, and ask Him for help. He is a wild Father that is wanting to see His child’s face turn to Himself and simply ask for His help.

We don’t need to live our lives in timid communication. Eve walked with God and talked with God. She walked in FREE communication with the one love she’d always known; and it was simply natural. How amazing does that sound? To walk with the wild God we have grown to know and talk to Him as if we are talking to our best friend.

natural. simple. Just like family.


Sometimes I will get bold and ask God for things that serve my purpose, my dreams, and my goals, as long as I can picture them actually happening. But rarely do I ask Him to step into my life and act like He normally acts — totally NOT like a human and fully like a wild Father who knows best. See Him as a wild God that will go far beyond any of your expectations of joy, communication, faith, service, and life. Why do we let ourselves set limitations on such a powerful God? These limitations we put on God are suffocating our faith, communication, joy, and walk with God. They are putting a line in the sand to which what is on the other side is something far more abundant and amazing then anything on the side that we have put ourselves and God on. We need to start seeing God outside of our own box, on the other side of that line, outside of our own desires, and start seeing Him as bigger. He has bigger plans, bigger goals, bigger eternity, bigger love, and a bigger hope in store!

Run to the wild God and ask to truly see Him. Truly see the bigger and better plans He has for us as His chosen people. And see Him for the king that wishes to bring forth goodness and love into light in the world for His glory.

He is still that capable and wild God we read about in the Word. He is the same God that turned water into wine. He is the same God that showed love and compassion to the women at the well. He is the same God that sat at a table with sinners. He is the same God that raised a dead man to life. He is the same God that promised a nation as many as the stars in the sky. He is the same God that healed the lame man. He is the same God that fed the five thousand. He is the same God that walked on water. Why do we so often forget that and forfeit such knowledge and power of a Savior for a mundane understanding of our King? That God that did all of those things — He lives inside of us, He is breathing spirit filled power in us. He is living through us. And we easily push that down for the mundane understanding of Him. He is still that capable and wild God, He is working in the exact same way with the exact same wild power in your heart and life today, but it is through His spirit inside of us. God was never meant to be held back by our human allowance. He is meant to be wild and beyond our human understanding.

The Love In Conviction

Apparently I can’t figure out what I am doing with this blog. Sometimes I am writing post after post, sometimes I will go a week or more without posting, and sometimes it is a month before I post again. Seeing as how I just posted not long ago and I am already writing another one I am on that streak of posting more often and closer together. Or that is just how the Lord is working in my life. Lets go with the latter.

Lately my posts haven’t been planned at all. I am pretty sure my last 5 or 6 posts have just been totally random and I just started writing them out of no where. I just had needed to tell others about it. Like this morning, I was doing my devotional and I knew I had to write about it. I couldn’t gather my words and they weren’t making sense, but also were making sense in my head. Does anyone else do that? When you have these ideas but you also can’t explain them? I hope it isn’t just me. It might be all the sugar I eat. It goes straight to my brain so I can’t gather my thoughts. Wouldn’t surprise me if that’s the case, because I’ve eaten like 10 Smartie packs in the last 12 hours. I went around my room last night and just started picking up random wrappings not realizing I had eaten that many. Guess it is my fault for getting a 1lb bag of Smarties. That very well could be the reason I have a lot of energy at 7am, but I am not a doctor I am just a Smartie enthusiast (PS white ones are the best).

This post isn’t about candy or sugar, even though that is what I live off of. The Word and sugar, it all ruins through my veins. Essentials, right? You probably know when you are reading a post if  I have eaten to much sugar. It is usually when I start to ramble on about something. But I’ve got to contain the hyperness (I don’t think that is a word, because there are those red little line under it) as hard as that is sometimes. This is a real and raw post. Most of the time I talk about just how good God is, His love, His presence, and encouragement through rough times. I do LOVE writing on that, because it is all truth and encouragement through His love and presence. But the Holy Spirit hit me right upside the head this morning on conviction. The real and raw love that comes from conviction.

I know I am not the only one that conviction is that horse pill that is hard to swallow. It hurts. It is heart wrenching. It is soul searching. And it isn’t talked about a lot. Now I am not jumping on here to just point blank tell you what the Lord taught me this morning through His Word. I am not spilling that kind of tea for everyone to read in their  Wednesday afternoon spare time. Yeah, the Holy Spirit speaks, but sometimes He also says “daughter, this is between you and me.”

It is easy to talk about what good blessings He has given, what He is teaching us, how we are growing, how loving and kind He is. All of that is so unbelievably GREAT! It is easy to share the encouraging Bible verses on Facebook and Instagram. It is easy to retweet that heart felt tweet about His kindness. It is easy to re-pin that pretty image of the outdoors with a verse plastered on the front of it. I do ALL of those things, because I love it and it is truth. But, you know what isn’t easy?? Sharing your conviction, and noticing that conviction. Like I said. Big. Pill.

This morning I had to swallow one of those very pills that I just might not have wanted to swallow, because it was hard Truth. But it was truth. That is the only thing God will feed our souls—-truth. It isn’t going to taste good sometimes. You may have days when the Spirit is basically feeding you calorie free ice cream that is sweet to your soul. Then there will also be days where He is feeding you hard to understand, nasty, raw—kale. It is in the end good for us, but it just doesn’t taste that good. Ya know it is like those times when you decide to go on a date of greens and you really just want the full of sugar ice cream, but you know the kale is good and healthy.

We don’t show those times He is feeding us soul food that just makes close our Bibles and fall at His feet knowing we are really messed up and full of sin. Those times when you see just how much you fall short it is easy to close your Bible and never share that conviction and lets just say it. Shame. We didn’t feel that conviction to feel shamed. We felt it to recognize that there is something we need to change. That very nudge you felt while reading we are to be full of joy not anger, that was the Holy Spirit leading us to be more like Christ. That wasn’t God saying “see you don’t have it figured out. Ha-ha”. Conviction is brought on through the Holy Spirit by the love of God. Conviction lets us know He is good, He is holy, He is powerful and almighty. But it also lets us know we aren’t good, we aren’t worthy to be His sons and daughter, and we are powerless. Conviction should bring humility and love for our King who knows we are all of those things but chooses to see Himself in us.

We are fully known and deeply loved. Meaning He knows we are sinful and lost but He has such a deep love that it covers all of the sin and shame. But how can we know we need that deep love if there isn’t conviction for us to know we are so full of sin? How come it is so hard to post about the hard truth He is pouring out? Is it so hard to be real and raw because it shows our flaws? It is a saving humility when we lay down the truth He has shown through conviction and say… No we don’t have it together, I am sinful, cursed, and full of shame. Yet, I am saved by grace and I stand on new holy ground by His mercy covering me.

I know He is good, but I also know without His convicting power I wouldn’t know I need to be shown grace.

He convicts where and when it is needed. Share the real and raw. He speaks in those pure moments out of love and mercy. He comes to us like a father to a child just trying to guide and lead us into being more abundantly full of Him.How can we miss out on such a powerful love if we don’t listen for his leading?

My quiet time this morning wasn’t on conviction. It had nothing to do with it. But I was convicted and shown how much I need Him to show me where to turn, how to walk, where to go, what to say, what not to say, how long to go, how far to go, what to do, and how much I can’t do without His Spirit speaking and teaching. It was a hard pill to swallow as He showed me just what I should be doing differently. But it also was how I saw His love for me, His daughter. He cares enough to show me the hard and trying. He cares enough to teach me humility and patients through Him. Through conviction we can know Him more. We see He cares, we see His love, His grace, and really His mercy. Because without that conviction when and where it is needed there wouldn’t be growth and change in our life and in our relationship with God. Conviction is needed to grow and learn how to walk closer to Him. It is hard at first and can be very long, but it is real and powerful.